Year of happy check in...

Well, it has been a while since I brought this up, so I thought I would remind everyone it is the year of happy! As a reminder...

Year of Happy Welcome and Rules

For me, I don't think it could be going much better... well there was that whole car accident thing, mom is still in her house, and I'd love to be back home in Cincinnati... but in general, I am a happy, lucky gal.

How are ya'll doing? I hope you are doing well. :) Let me know!

Today is also my boyfriend's birthday.

Happy birthday to you TH!

I can't be with him, but he is hopefully enjoying himself on vacation.

That makes today's things to be happy about simple...

I am so very happy that he is in my life.

Hiatus from MN - back home again... for 2 days

So, I am 29 - rah, rah, rah...

But it was one of the better birthday celebrations I have had. My friends rock. I couldn't have asked for a better trip home... Thank you all.

Today's things to be happy about:

• Coming home again
• Great friends
• An amazing BF
• Seeing the kids
• My nephew's dimples

Too cute!

It was also Em's 8th bday!!! HBD kiddo.

Minneapolis, part three...

I would be totally remiss if I didn't dedicate time to share thoughts about yesterday's bridge collapse in Minneapolis. My thoughts and prayers are with anyone who has themselves, or has friends and family that have been affected by this tragedy.

I was sitting in class when the director of the school came into the classroom and said, "35W just collapsed into the Mississippi River." Needless to say, the TV was turned on, phones started ringing and class was cancelled mid-stream.

School is about a mile, maybe two from that bridge. My apartment is about a mile the opposite direction from school. I left school and started walking South. It was an eery walk home, wondering who knew, who didn't. Hearing siren after siren after siren. Almost watching a police car crash into an ambulance amidst the chaos. There was all kinds of traffic. And then the phone calls began... my coworkers, my friends, my family... all checking to make sure I wasn't on the bridge. I am lucky. I wasn't on that bridge. Unfortunately, many other people were on that bridge and at least 4 people have lost their lives (approximately 8 people are currently missing).

Some of the survival stories around this tragedy are pretty amazing. Everyday people turned into heroes. One 20-year old in the accident was quick-thinking enough to get 60 people, mostly kids, off a bus safely. A fellow blogger has a pretty amazing near miss story of his own - D. Dad. I just watched a story about a mother and father who were on the way to see their daughter at the hospital. They were in a jeep that went off the bridge and sunk to the bottom of the river. Luckily, they had just opened their windows, and were able to swim to safety (separately) and get the medical attention they needed. Somehow their daughter's security blanket ended up floating to the surface. Amazingly, a 2-year old still has both parents and a security blanket that I am sure they'll keep close the rest of their lives.

Like I said, I was lucky. Actually I am extremely lucky... not only because I wasn't on 35W, but because I have amazing people in my life.

I have been pretty homesick - missing friends, family and loved ones, but I doubt I could really feel much more loved than I do right now. I think almost everyone I know has sent an e-mail, a text, or made a phone call in the past 24 hours. Not only does a tragedy like this put life in perspective... but for me was an amazing reminder of how many people cared enough to check on me. It's pretty humbling.

It's a reminder to pay attention to what really matters. To tell people you love them. To never take life for granted. And, to never let regret in your life. Today's list of things to be happy about is pretty simple...

• Being here to take advantage of today
• Great family and friends
• Genuine care and concern
• Everyday heroes
• Emergency responders (EMS, Fire, Police, Coast Guard, Courageous Onlookers, etc.)
• Quick-thinking
• Grabbing life by the horns
• Perspective
• Great memories
• Recognizing all the little things

Thanks again to everyone who cared enough to check on me... My thoughts and prayers are with amazing people in the city of Minneapolis.

Hello from Minnesota (Part 2 - the first few weeks)

So, here I am. Been here for about 3 weeks now. School is good. Just shy of my impending 29th birthday, I am pretty much the oldest in my class. No big deal, if I didn't feel old or if this didn't happen: We went out to the $10 all-you-can-drink on Wednesday, and my 23-year old classmate and I were talking and he said "Thanks Mom." Explaining it as "I call all my older friends that are girls Mom." I tried to tell him that calling me "older" didn't help... at least go with "Big sis."

GEESH, so THAT was fun.

I saw the Twins play... which was um.. interesting...


They played Detroit, including ex-Red Sean Casey. The dome is ridiculously WRONG when it comes to baseball. And they lost... but unlike in Cincinnati, even on a Tuesday night, the game was an actual EVENT, with a pregame party and everything. I respect that and the fans were really good. It kinda makes me sad for our boys at home.

I uploaded some of the pics of the inside of the basilica too. Check it out.

So, for now, life here is good. I get to come visit home in just 9 days. I am pumped bc I miss home. Miss my friends. Miss my Tim. Miss my nieces and nephew. Miss all my family. Miss normal.

Today's things to be happy about:

• Playing around in a new city
• Getting to come home
• Being in love
• Doing well on my first two presentations and in school
• Making new friends

Hello from Minnesota... (Part 1 - the journey here.)

It's been a whirlwind for me... so I apologize to my friends back home who are wondering what has been going down... I decided to do this in parts. :) Here is the exciting story of my first weekend.

Saturday, bright and early. Load car. Start the long drive. Stop at Starbucks for caffeine fix. Indy. Illinois. Get gas. Get lunch. Wisconsin. Minnesota. Get gas again. Drive by St. Paul, pull into Minneapolis. Find the place. Check it out. Move everything in. Find a Target and a grocery. Collapse on the couch.

Sunday, wake up WAY too early for my liking. Eat some cereal. Put stuff where it belonged in the apartment. Go to Target, again. Spend more money. Go to mass at the the Basilica. It is super close to my place, and it is gorgeous. It's the oldest Basilica in the United States. AMAZING outside, but even better inside. (See below.) Get some food and relax a little in preparation for my first day on Monday...

Here is the Basilica:

That is about all the touristy things I have been able to do thus far. Been too busy settling in. I did go to the Twins game on Tuesday. Baseball in a dome is very odd. They lost, but I was impressed with the pre-game partying, especially since it was just a Tuesday night.

ANYWAY, sorry this was lame. I will be sure to go out with my camera and show some cool stuff, as well as let you know a little bit about school.

Congrats to SAM on her engagement.

Congrats to MM on her new job.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Miss you all... :)

One Week Countdown...

Hello everyone.

I am sorry that I am a slacker. Between this stupid back/rib injury from the accident and getting everything at work and at home ready for my trip to Minnesota, the last few weeks have FLOWN by. I leave "technically" in less than a week, as we will be going very early next Saturday morning. My mother is driving up with me to keep me company, so I am positive their will be fairly enlightening stories from the trip.

The stories will include something about her asking at every border we cross if "radar detectors are legal in this state." To which i will AGAIN answer, "they are only illegal in Virginia and the District of Columbia." Also fun, is that I only have my little mazda 3, and I have all the stuff I will need for my three months in MN - making the car pretty full.

She, however, is infamously a "heavy packer." (I apparently come by that naturally - for all readers / friends who have traveled with me in the past.) I have gotten MUCH MUCH better since I got my nice new luggage and started traveling so much for work. She still thinks she has to bring a foam egg crate mattress for any bed that isn't her own. So that battle will be fun. Oh and the cooler. We have to have a cooler that fits 48 drinks and foods. Even though we have to stop every few hours for gas and cant pick up a drink or two there. Ahhh, I can't wait.

Don't get me wrong. I love my mom. She is one of the greatest women alive. She just still likes to be my mom. And I like to be an adult. :)

Anyway. 11-1/2 hours according to mapquest. Triptik in hand. It should be an interesting adventure, and I hope MN brings me much more time to say hello to people around here... We'll see.

I better go pack. Hope everyone else is doing well!

Today's things to be happy about...

• My nephew's "do it again" smile and dimples
• His stopping everything he is doing (even tears) to dance
  
• Cranky 5-year-olds "accidentally" falling asleep and taking a highly-needed nap
• Naps, in general
• Sunny Saturday afternoons
• X-RAYS coming back negative for breaks
  
• Having a good drunk night out to forget the pain
• Small worlds (when your bf, his friends, and your friends all end up knowing someone who knows someone who liked someone in grade school...)
• The smell of freshly dried laundry
• 4th of July cookouts with good friends
• The strength is takes to protect our freedom
• Honoring our troops
  
• Hugs

Have a good 4th everyone! Thanks to the troops for protecting our freedom.

How I spent my OBX vacation...

Our vacation begins just like anyone else's vacation. We leave around 5:30 AM and head to the KY AA Highway. We have a fairly uneventful drive through KY, WV and VA - noticing only that VA has a LOT of personalized plates. (We assume they are much cheaper in VA than in OH... and my personal favorite was "me n gzus." It seemed a little conceited to put the "me" first. lol)

We stop at the "gas-and-anything-you-may-need-before-you-leave-VA" station and pass over the NC line with some excitement. It's a little after 3 pm now, so after passing 2 farmer's markets, we decide to his the third one we see. We wanted a watermelon, some tomatoes, some peaches, and a jar of jam to supply the kitchen at the house we are staying in. So that we got.

Then there is a lot of water and a bridge. YEA!... We are finally in Kitty Hawk / Nags Head. Just three more minutes and we are poolside! Errr not.

We hit a little congestion, because apparently everyone is driving into town with Saturday-to-Saturday rentals. So we pull up and sit in the line of traffic right where we are about to turn down our street. Then BAMMM... a minivan hits the back of us at 45 mph (according to the police report). The good news is, we are all "fine"! It was eerily similar to those Jetta commercials. None of us knew it was coming. I was mid-sentence, then all of a sudden... I couldn't breath. After realizing we were in a wreck, I felt the LOADED trunk had creeped into the back seat and the front seat was laying on top of me. I pulled off my seat belt and Matthew moved the front seat some so I could breath. Matthew and Ralph were smacked in the face with airbags but were out of the car. I looked to my left and Adrianne was bleeding from the nose, and had watermelon all over her lap. My torso hurt and my knee hurt and there were tomatoes smashed too.

Well, the fire department and EMS arrived and took Adrianne to the ambulance. They decided that I needed to be neck-braced and back-boarded - and because of where the car got hit, my door didn't open. They took out the jaws of life and cut me out of the car. Nothing like glass shattering and a saw thing in your ear with a sheet as the only thing protecting you. Into the ambulance, I went. I didn't see anyone/anything at the scene - which sucks. Adrianne was sitting in the ambulance when I got in there.

It was a 15 minute ride, filled with a collapsed vein in my hand and a second try for an IV in my arm. They cut my shirt and my borrowed sweats. My BP was really low and then they couldn't find it for like 5 tries, so they freaked me out a bit.

Adrianne wanted out of the truck - and her watermelon-stained pants. She had to have had a headache. I just wanted off the backboard and out of the neckbrace that was poking into my throat.

So into the ER we went. All of us got checked out, and given drugs. A few hours, a bunch of x-rays and a cat scan later, we are free to go. I however, had no clothes, so left in a nice comfy pair of scrubs. Remarkably with nothing seemingly broken, ruptured or bleeding too badly. Lots of bruises and lots of soreness, but man were we lucky...

The Maxima - not as lucky. It's crumple zones performed their duties well. My laptop, also not as lucky - as you will see below.

I was drugged or slept through most of vacation, either from the soreness or from the rash from the dye in the CT scans. (A lovely time and way to find out you are allergic to it!) I just couldn't get over the hump to fully enjoy vacation. I had one drink the whole week, and if you knew my friends, you'd know that was ridiculous.

It was so nice to pull into my driveway last night and to sleep in my own bed. Now comes the fun part, right? Hospital bills and settlements and receipts... rah rah rah.

I didn't sleep very well, but that's a whole different story. :(

The pictures:

Ralph's car from the rear.
The silver bumper is attached from the car that hit us.

This was my seat... with the door they cut off sitting in it.
(Pay special attention to the tomato on the ground. FUNNY)

The door.

The floorboard full of the glass from it shattering as they cut the door off.

Adrianne's and my seat.
Close up. With the trunk pushed into the seat.

What formerly appeared to be the trunk.
Buckled roof and shattered back window.
And. my personal favorite photo...

Oh yea, and... my laptop.

Again, glad we all made it out as well as we did. But don't look forward to another vacation like that anytime soon! I do, however, love the GTP.

Got lots to be happy about:

• Being "okay"
• My boyfriend (who was not even with me, but still helped me get through the week)
• My bed
• My family
• My nephew's sweet smile
• Forgiveness, giving it - but more importantly receiving it.
  

OBX - the short version...

Please check back next Sunday / Monday to hear the details of the following short story.

There will be pictures.

SHORT VERSION: Ambulances, glass, the hospital, drugs, a free pair of scrubs and a nice rash two days later. Do I have your attention yet?

I will tell the whole fun vacation story when I return and can upload photos. :)

OBX Vacation

I am gone.

My mind is on vacation.

And SO is my body.

Have a great week! :)

Ask, and... you shall receive.

Two weeks ago, I got back from my trips and didn't have very much to do. That is actually an understatement. It was so bad I actually looked at my boss and said, "I need something to do." Because I (in all my anal-ness) had already re-formatted the company phone list, and made copies for everyone who wanted them, and I felt the need to be productive.

He said "I'm swamped." But he didn't give me anything to do. So I said something to the COO, and she said.. "Oh, we'll find you something to do."

In turn I went from NOTHING to do. To stuff to do. To a lot of stuff to do. To busy as hell within two weeks. Monday, my was my new boss's last day. NOW, I went from busy as hell to holy mother of ridiculous busyness.

It's good times. All I know is I go on vacation in 9 days... so for a week, there will be NO busyness.

Today's happy list:

• Kudos from upper management
• When a not-so-good situation works itself out
• Vacation countdowns in single digits
• a new "mix" that you love
• Being lost in the moment (Thank you Big N Rich.)

Swollen nastiness

Just thought I would share... p-haha

Yes, that is my stomach in all it's glory. It is a very ambiguous angle, but sure makes my tummy look gross. It is a close-up, as the bruise is about 8-9 inches in length.

Details on the injury below if you missed my last post. ha.

It's official, I need to retire from sports...

Friday was my first pain-free day with my back. So I was excited to play in my doubleheader on Friday night (that was supposed to be followed by a soccer game on Saturday afternoon.) I play softball with a bunch of family friends, every spring and summer on Friday nights. The team has been together in some form for about 19 years or so.

The first game of the DH was against the team we can't ever freaking beat. We come in SECOND in the league to them EVERY FLIPPING YEAR. It's a bunch of 45-60 year olds men and women who place the ball perfectly and sit on pitches until they get a walk. We usually don't lose games, but that team has our number. Annoying. VERY annoying.

So, on my first at-bat, I got a hit an went to run out of the batter's box, and the back, hamstring and rear end pain came back. It was LOADS of fun. The game went on. We lost to them... again. And, unfortunately, we don't play them again this year to get revenge.

So the second game was against a local baptist church team who got thrown out last year because they are a bunch of pricks. It's always been ironic to me that the church team is full of the biggest jerkoffs in the league. They argue with the ump, the other teams and even themselves. The pitcher teases the batter with his ridiculous wind-up. They slide into girls on plays that aren't close enough to even slide. (And you really don't need to slide in softball.) They complain to the ump for stupid things like the player who is coaching first base having their glove with them. The runners screamed in the 2nd basegirl's face to try to throw them off when catching a throw to second. They are just asses.

All of the above happened last night. No, they didn't get kicked out again - unfortunately! Combined with an ump who doesn't understand the infield fly rule... it was a wonderful night. Just lovely.

I am the pitcher. It's not the safest spot on the field in co-ed ball. In fact, when my dad was alive, he wouldn't let a girl pitch. Last night was an example of why... I pitched to this guy and he drilled a line drive waist high right up the center - into my stomach.

I finished the play and got the chick out at third, then I realized it hurt. After a few quick tears and a little drama from my team, I insisted on finishing the inning and game.

So the next at bat, what does the prick church team guy that hit me in the stomach do? Drill a ball up the center, this time off my foot.

I am fine - bruised and pretty freaking sore, but fine. And I am not a baby, nor do I think people need special treatment, but there are rules to co-ed softball. And this team needs to be kicked out of the league. It wasn't fun. We didn't even want to shake hands. Half of the team didn't. It's ridiculous.

And now we have a losing record. I am not happy with that.

AND, no soccer for me today. I get to sideline it and cheer. RAH RAH.

ANYWAY...

I still have things to be happy about, so...

• Ice & Advil
  
• Being hit in just the right spot so there was no major damage
  
• My softball team. I love them all
  
• My sister being there to try and protect me and keep me out of harm's way
  
• The beautiful weekend that is in front of us (And since I am on the DL, I get to relax and enjoy it.)
  

Poor boys of summer...

Well, I went to the game tonight... but I am sure glad i didn't pay for tickets. I had my work tickets which are just to the left of these:


Good Seats, but torture when you have our bullpen (and Eric Milton at times). When will the pain end? So bad, that in 2005, Joel Luckhaupt who blogs about the Reds, created this team portrait, as South Park characters. Can you name anyone you see?

:)


Today's things to be happy about:

• Tomorrow is another day
• Great company at the ball park
• Good, FREE seats
• Funny people
• Google Images
  

Happy in the YOH!

So, it's sunny out - and I have nothing I am OBLIGED to do today. It is a fantastic feeling. Down to the point that the lawn mower is broken, so I even have an excuse to not mow the lawn!

I love that.

I did, however screw up my back last week, and then played softball and stuff, so my whole body is aching today. BUT, I've had a great weekend. I am in a generally good mood today. I mean it is 5 months into the "Year of Happy." I should be happy right?

This week, I found out that I made it into school for the summer, and will be headed of to Minneapolis for 13 weeks. The change of pace is MUCH needed. So, I am excited. I have been in Cincinnati for more than 7 consecutive days. I got new brakes last week, so my car will stop if I need it to - which is always good. Gray's has some interesting little plots going on, but the new spin-off looks to be pretty good too. I actually have work to do at work - so that is enjoyable. I orchestrated a highly successful happy hour on Wednesday - which was supposed to be a pre-game for the Rod Stewart (free tickets) concert and people-watching - but it got canceled. He was sick. We won my co-ed softball game Friday (17-5) despite me accidentally walking someone home. (I had to get warmed up. It was my first game this year.) I had a great post-game dinner, drinks, etc. with the boy. My niece had first communion yesterday. She was adorable. I had a good time Cinco de Mayo-ing it up with the GTP friends - with margaritas and my current drink fav, mint mojitos. It will be the poolside drink of choice for vacation. Vacation is in 19 days.

How could I NOT be having a good YOH? RIGHT? It's been a good week. So I should use today to check back in on everyone else... right? This is just a reminder to savor the Year of Happy and make every year one from here on out.

Today's list of happy things:

• mint mojitos
• summers away
• a boy you like
• bigs hugs
• a big city that is really a small town
• impending vacation
  

Poland... Pics

Pics from Poland. None of me, but that, of course, is how I like it. :) Enjoy!

Cute little cobblestone streetscape just outside Old Town

Another church looking out the Old Town "castle-like" walls

The Castle-like wall surrounding Old Town, from the stairs of the church above.

One of the MANY Catholic Churches in the area.
My favorite part is the little old lady on the bench

The entrance to Old Town

Another Church

Pope John Paul's parish, before he became Pope

Just another cool shot of Old Town

Poland...

Well, my trip was fine. I have lots of pictures of cool buildings and stuff that I can't identify. I will be sure to post those once I get them off my camera. That is cool and all, BUT my co-worker was smart enough to take a tour... and his post says more about Poland than I ever could... so, enjoy!

Poland

Today's things to be happy about...

• Losing weight though eating pierogies
• Antibiotics
• Experiencing history first-hand
• Knowing we live in a different world, where society (in general) tries to learn from their mistakes
• Sleeping in your own bed after a long trip

ok, i lied...

I wasn't back and I didn't repair my ways... I am one of the worst bloggers EVER. I am sorry - and busy-ness shouldn't be an excuse, but it is the lame one that I am using.

In the last two weeks, I have been in Chicago, then Miami, am sitting in a hotel in New York right now and am headed to Warsaw, Poland tomorrow. Vodka research... no REALLY, I am not kidding. I get back this weekend.

I also have a killer sinus infection - which is awesome when flying - and sitting in the research room sniffling. My back is also KILLING me, despite spending the AM at the chiropractor. It's good times here in Tina's travel world.

Something to be happy about: When I went to Miami, I voluntarily got bumped and "earned" 400 free delta bucks... you gotta love free trips from being bumped on a trip you didn't pay for to begin with. WOOHOO.

So I have never been to Poland. Apparently, the weather is very similar to home... I need to do a little investigation on what to do/where to go. We are doing research, but I have a day or two to wander. So I am open to suggestions... Anyone? ;)

I also FINALLY got my school application out to my 13-week boot camp in Minneapolis, MN this past week. It is a HUGE weight off my back. Now they just need to accept it!

Anyway, I hope to be more loyal to this thing, but we'll see if my life actually lets that happen! Hope everyone out there is doing well!

Missing you... and 10 things about the flea market...

I am sorry that I have been such a slacker. I have been busy, and REALLY tired... so, again, please forgive me. I promise to get better! I have to catch you up though, so I had an interesting weekend a few weeks back that I thought I would share with everyone AND I found an interesting quote to begin the post about my weekend...

One of the hardest tasks of leadership is understanding that you are not what you are, but what you're perceived to be by others."
-- Edward L. Flom,CEO of Florida Steel

My mom wanted to sell a bunch of junk, so she had the opportunity to sell them at the flea market, and took it. So I went with her to help. It was highly entertaining and relatively successful. But I thought I would share the 10 things I learned at the flea market a few weekends back...

1. Somewhere, at some time, someone made jeans with elastic bottoms
2. Some women still where vintage red Reebok hi-tops as their original style. (You can get yours on ebay)
3. The Simple Life (with Nicole and Paris) has apparently influenced a whole new population of chihuahuas dressed in clothing and accessories... so much that there is an entire store that sells dog purses and special strollers made for dogs! (Yes, at the indoor flea market! Aisle 7.) Here were the supermodels, in their full glory.
   
   
4. You don't have to clean your hands between touching the register/money and touching the food... even if you are working the popcorn/food station. Who knew?
5. There is actually an inexpensive place to buy stainless appliances - new! Seriously, if you need them.. try the indoor flea market!
   
6. People sell and buy the weirdest stuff ever... from an entire booth dedicated to beef jerky to guy with everything imported including the stretchy ball shaped like a boob that looked like a kids toy, not an adult toy.
   
7. There are very few booths with "used items," rather these are true business ventures for people who either make things, or ship them from Taiwan or China inexpensively to sell for a profit.
   
8. If you want a bargain, just tell them you are a "dealer," with a booth "down in aisle 5." (Like they'll check... but you can probably only do this a few times, before they wonder what you sell too.)
9. Overalls are, overall, just unattractive.
10. You can't sit in the back of the booth and TRY to write a creative brief for work, but it won't actually happen. That is because the entire idea of a flea market is distracting - the people, the stuff, the people... just give up... take it all in, and write a blog about it later!

:) Happy March18 folks!

Today's things to be happy about: March Madness, naps, a glimmer of hope in the office pool, Steamfresh vegetables, girl scout cookies, and two days to work off the weekend before your weigh-in.

My horoscope from today.

I loved it. So it's today's thing to be happy about:

Tackle this issue from a different perspective. In fact, it wouldn't hurt to ask a kid what they think of the situation. While the answer may not have practical applications, it'll make you laugh -- and see the light.

Good stuff for a Friday. Happy March2 Folks.

What a fantastic way to start the weekend...

From the myspace blog of a total stranger (http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=23256106&blogID=233447644 ) comes

Chuck Norris

Factoids

• When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
• Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
• Chuck Norris uses redhot lava to moisturize his skin.
• Chuck Norris invented the apple.
• Chuck Norris built Mount Everest with a bucket and spade.
• Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it's just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you.
• Chuck Norris does not have chest hair, he has millions of highly venomous nematocysts. You have virtually no chance of surviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. The pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and collapse a split second before getting hit in the face with a roundhouse kick.
• Chuck Norris can chug a gallon of milk and not throw up.
• Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
• If you get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris in your dream, you DIE!
• Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too.
• Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.
• Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.
• Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow.
• P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.
• Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.
• Chuck Norris' paradise is war.
• Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis.
• Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.
• Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.
• Chuck Norris can lick his own elbows. At the same time.
• Chuck Norris can kick start a car.
• Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
• Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography....it was just a list of everyone he has killed.
• Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.
• Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.
• As seen in Sidekicks, Chuck Norris can climb a rope with one hand, and one hand only.
• Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.
• Chuck Norris can MAKE water run uphill.
• Chuck Norris can hold Puff Daddy down.
• The moon is actually a comet that was once on course to hit earth... then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it into orbit.
• Chuck Norris can strike a match on a bar of soap.
• Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.
• The only reason the color pink still exists is because Chuck Norris is color blind.
• Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
• Chuck Norris isn't afraid of Urban Legends, he is an Urban Legend.
• Chuck Norris once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebar and a sun dried tomato. He shot a 54.
• On the Asian market, Chuck Norris' urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce.
• See spot. See spot run. See spot get round house kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.
• Niagara Falls is the result of one of Chuck's legendary cannon balls.
• Chuck Norris sneezes electricity.
• Chuck Norris performs colonoscopies on himself.
• If you were killed by Chuck Norris, your tombstone would read RIP, ripped into pieces.
• Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.
• You know he jumped off the Empire State Building this one time and he only sprained his ankle.
• Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident....and still managed to walk it off.
• Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Chuck Norris killed that given day.
• Chuck Norris invented the corndog.
• The agent of Chuck Norris asked Chuck if he wanted to be in Brokeback Mountain.
• Chuck Norris' agent has been missing for almost 2 years now. Never ask Chuck Norris to be in a gay cowboy movie.
• Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
• Chuck Norris understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
• Chuck Norris believes the hype.
• Chuck Norris CAN in fact stop the beat.
• When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
• When Chuck Norris picks his nose, he REALLY does find Gold.
• Chuck Norris speaks in all caps.
• Chuck Norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years.
• Chuck Norris wasn't born with feet, just boots.
• Chuck Norris won a pissing contest against a Russian race horse.
• When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back.
• Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly and stings like a tomahawk missile. At mach 3. In the face.
• Chuck Norris can dribble a football.
• Chuck Norris' IQ can be expressed simply as a sideways eight
• Chuck Norris is a stunt double for Optimus Prime.
• Chuck Norris was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever heard was the wooshing sound of a roundhouse kick.
• Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
• Chuck Norris had his tonsils removed with a chainsaw.
• Chuck Norris digs graves with a shoe horn.
• Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
• Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
• Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
• The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
• Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
• Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
• If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
• Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
• When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
• The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
• Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
• CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
• Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
• There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
• Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
• What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
• Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
• Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
• Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
• Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
• A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
• Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
• Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
• If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
• Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
• The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
• Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
• Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
• Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
• Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
• Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
• Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
• Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
• Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
• In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
• Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
• Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which
• Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
• Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
• The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single
• Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
• Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
• Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
• When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
• There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
• Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
• Chuck Norris won by 5.
• Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
• Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.

Today's things to be happy about: Never being on Chuck's bad side, funny people, Technorati blog searches, Fridays, Indian food and blue highlighters...

Happy Feb23 folks! Here's to a great weekend.

I wanna go to Bora, Bora...

I think two weeks in a bungalow that is out over the ocean blue is well worth 6 grand... WELL worth it! Now I just wish I had an extra 6K laying around. SOMEDAY!

Boy, do I need a vacation, and I don't think Chicago in March will do it! Poland will be cold in April too, AND it is work - so that doesn't count! May can't come fast enough GoodTimePals!

Sorry, I promise to write more soon, but that is all for now.

Happy Feb21 folks!

Today's things to be happy about: Understanding why all those people are walking around with grey smudges on their forehead, looking forward to a night without plans, diet root beer, being "good" sore from a nice workout, out-of-control "Staff-All" e-mail chains, and the sun making an appearance with weather above freezing!

Monday, Monday...

Can't trust that day.

So, I made the switch. I am officially "in." I have "the network."

It was a very tough decision. Why? Because they all drop calls. They all suck. So I went with the more expensive provider, because I was tired of the dropped calls and the people I talked to swear they don't get dropped calls in this area. Everyone did, however, tell me that the customer service sucks... and I can now attest to that.

"Welcome to the customer service line, can I help you."

Yea, I want to transfer my old number over to here. can you please help me with that?

"Great maam, we can definitely help you with that."

great.

"Tell us the number etc, and we'll get this going for you."

ok.

SO, It's all finished and the lady says "This looks great, this should switch over in 24-72 hours. Can I help you with anything else?"

No

"OK maam, have a great day."

From this conversation, I got the following: We did it, thanks. Have a good day.

5 days later (because of the weekend I gave it a few days extra), my phone number still hadn't transferred over. So I called again.

"Welcome to the customer service line, can I help you."

My number hasn't transferred over and it has been 5 days since I called last.

"Lemme check on the problem maam... It looks like you never finished the process. We need you to do this one last thing."

OK, why didn't anyone tell me this - or maybe call me to let me know there as a problem? I've been paying for two bills for 5 days now.

"I'm sorry maam, and can give you a $20.00 credit to cover that... and we'll fix the problem now."

fine, let's do it.

"Just follow the prompts, and you'll be fine. Have a great day."

A few prompts come, and the little techno woman says "Sorry, we don't recognize your number, have a great day." Then she hangs up.

EFF.

I had to call back, AGAIN. Finally this woman fixed it, but three minutes later, my phone got a text message that said "Please call customer service at your earliest convenience."

I really didn't want to, but I did. In the meantime, the stupid 2 week old phone I purchased BROKE - so badly that the final customer service agent suggested I bring that in-person to a store.

I have yet to do that, but assume it won't act up when I get in the store and they won't believe me and the trauma will continue. Damn the phone people. Damn them.

As a side note, I have gotten called "maam" way too much lately. People, I am 28. This, combined with the first ever need-to dye because of the grey hairs occurring last week, is very traumatic for a young woman. Oh yea, and it's valentines week. Lovely.

Today's things to be happy about: land lines, no dropped calls, a good hair dye and cut, being called "darlin'", and candy hearts that say "page me."

Happy Feb12 folks!

Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow...

I lied. Don't let it snow. Eff the snow. 6 inches in about 5 hours in Ohio is insane. Not to mention straight through rush hour, which happened to begin at noon today because of the all-out snow panic. (Please note: I did stop for milk... and Cookie Crisp. I didn't want to be "snowed in" without them. Priorities!) As expected, the grocery was frantic.

So I got home around 3:30 because work told us all to leave (nice.) I shoveled when I got home, because I knew more snow was coming and shoveling 6-9 inches was harder than 2-3 inches a few different times. (I was using my noggin.) Not to mention at 3:30, it was 9 degrees, and I knew later in the day or tomorrow morning it would be 0 degrees, which is way less fun to hang out in and shovel.

Then around 5:30, I looked out and decided it was time for round two. Here is the before image:
So, like any good shoveler... I started at the garage door and worked my way out of the house to the curb. pushing all snow to the sides, not the street. It went pretty fast. WHY? Well, because I am good (obviously) and because it was 9 degrees and I was getting snowed on (duh.) So I finished it in like 30 minutes. By the time I finished, however, I had to shovel my path back to the garage. See below:


Yea, so then I threw salt. That worked well. See below:


And here I am now, back online, with another 2 inches outside, looking harder for vacation packages, and pre-heating my heating blanket for a long winter's nap!

Happy Feb6 folks!

Sweet dreams... of warm weather and scuba diving...


PS - - Bob, please excuse the delay... I was shoveling. Here are the 6 normal things about me...
1. I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else.
2. I hate traffic and stupid drivers.
3. I love to people watch and point out bad behaviors, hair issues and 80s clothing to make me feel better about myself.
4. I have some debt.
5. I have a great group of friends, and family is important to me.
AND last but not least... number 6. I enjoy meeting new people and making new friends - on here, and in "real life"...

Aren't those all pretty "normal" things?

Back to regular programming

I mentioned that I would get back to this later in the week. My Number 3 life Path said,

"In love, you inspire and enchant your partner.
You are often an object of fantasy and desire."

Really? Come on. As a single 28 year-old woman in Ohio, if I really were "often an object of fantasy and desire," I would expect these folks who feel that way to step forward and be acknowledged.

My luck the fantasy has something to do with me organizing or TLC'ing someone's house while they are on vacation with Cindy Crawford. Or, yea this is it... when they pick teams for sports and have to take a girl, they desire to have a girl that can play on their team.

Sure, I get the whole inspiring and enchanting my partner thing, but "love" has been a while at this point... so I can't remember if it is true. I'm not looking. It's too much work. I'm happy anyway... but seriously, if these people exist, they should come forward to claim their "prize." p-hahahahahaha

Happy Feb3 folks!

PS - I do also acknowledge that no one would ever admit it after reading my last post. I'm not worried anyway, since those kind of crazies don't exist.

But I do know if they did, it would be my luck that they would find me. :)

I've been tagged...

Thanks to the ever-entertaining DorkyDad, I have been tagged with a meme. However, it's not one of those 3-hour endeavors, so I am okay with it. I am tasked with sharing 6 weird things about me, or if I cheat, 6 weird things that have happened to me. Hmmm... Decisions, Decisions. I'm SO not a cheater, so I guess I'll go with "about me."

Number One (1)
I have, at one point in my lifetime, either have been or wanted to be each of the following professions:

• Lawyer - way too much reading
• Professional Athlete - p-ha, well I needed a little more talent for that one
• Teacher - too many kids
• Wife - Homemaker to a hot firefighter preferably (Still working on this one.)
• Mother - Nah, I love other people's kids better.
• Professor - too much going to school
• Architect - too much responsibility. I didn't want to be responsible when the building fell
• Pharmacist - purely for the money and hours, so not interested enough
• Graphic Designer - including, but not limited to environmental designer, packaging designer, print designer, art director, etc. - too much creative on demand
• Operations manager - too boring
• Something in Organizational Change - waaaayyy to stressful
• Marketer - too general... half of the girls in college want to be in "marketing"
• Advertising Executive - Been there, done that.
• "Strategic Planner" - haven't fully figured out what it was, but like it thus far.

Number Two (2)
I have been a vegetarian since the day we went to a farm in the 5th grade and drew with purple chalk on big black cows where all the different types of meat came from. To this day, I am totally grossed out by meat. If my food touched it, I won't eat it. No broth. NOTHING. I will, for some reason, drink milk and eat cheese, but eggs are SO out!

Number Three (3)
I don't see movies. It is not that I don't like movies... I just don't see them. Some, I refuse to watch... just 'cause. A sampling of movies I have not seen that will make you "wonder a little" about me:

• Goodfellas
• Godfather (NONE)
• Star Wars (NONE. Not old ones. Not new ones.)
• Lord of the Rings (NONE)
• 16 Candles
  
• Pirates of the Caribbean
• Casablanca
• It's a Wonderful Life
• Apocalypse Now
• Batman (None)
• 2001: A Space Odyssey
• Dirty Harry
• Fight Club
• Spiderman (None)
  

Number Four (4)
I have a FABULOUS sense of direction; however, if you didn't know this already, I am incapable of telling my right from my left in pressure situations - i.e., when driving or giving directions while in a car. I will typically just turn whichever way my preconceived notion tells me to turn, despite the directions being provided. Despite not getting this simple R/L correlation, my brain SOMEHOW comprehends the transient and complex nature of "This Way" and "That Way."

If I am talking to someone, "This way" is the direction that is closer to me than it is to them. "That way" would be the direction closest to them. However, in this same situation, if they were talking to me "That Way" is close to me, while "This Way" is closest to them. Sound complicated? Try being in a car with me!

Yea, I'm nuts. Not sure why "Left is Left and makes and L" doesn't work for me. Unfortunately, I must be crazy.

Number Five (5)
I hate socks.I hate them on my feet. I hate them on other people's feet. In general, I am not a fan. However, they are NEVER to be worn in bed. It's unattractive and annoying.

And Number Six (6)
If you'd ask my friends, they would probably refer to one of the following as a weird thing about me:

• I lose my cell phone, wallet, check card, etc. on a regular basis.
• I break my cell phone on a regular basis
• I'm allergic to everything on the planet - dogs, cats, trees, grass, feathers, dust... you name it.
• I get sinus infections every February
• I am OCD... down to straightening the fringes on the throw rugs.
• I am one extreme or the other... stuff is either super clean and organized OR I am am a total, complete disaster. This is because it takes too much effort to make it perfect, and "almost perfect" won't do, so I have to be all or nothing.
  

But my number 6 is this... I cannot stand repetitive tapping noises, whether it be drips in the sink, fingers on a desk, clicks of a pen, tapping of a foot, the 15 seconds of Madden that plays over and over when trying to pick a play or techno music. The more I hear it, the more I focus on it and the sooner I will end up in a round room with padded walls.


OKAY, so maybe I went overboard, and now everything not only THINKS I am weird, but KNOWS what is weird about me. GREAT! I should have taken Dorky's road and done what happened to me... at least then, I'd appear less crazy, right? ;)

OK, I guess I have to, I mean GET TO, tag 6 people... AML, Running Rabbit, Doc Steph, Toothy, Dan-O, and Bob. Have fun, and can't wait to read about ya'll!