Friday, December 29, 2006

Back to regular programming...

Well, I decided to go to Dayton last night to visit my friend and her husband. They always make me smile. So we went to dinner and we chatted about life and stuff. It was nice.

I was trashed. I could NOT stop laughing.


The waiter kept yelling at me for dropping my napkin on the floor, but he still gave me a free fried pickle. I really wanted one. Nobody else at the table would eat them and with the whole weight watchers thing, I probably shouldn't eat more than one. All considering I was drinking away all my other points and just got a salad for dinner. So we asked nicely and the waiter decided the funny drunk girl should have a free pickle. It was good.


So after a few random text messages (which i swore off in the last post), I went to sleep and apparently drank so much that I was even dehydrated in my dreams. I guess I was supposed to be pouring water into some poor little dog's bowl, but I was too thirsty and just ended up drinking 8 things of water instead. I woke up dying of thirst.

I drove back home to the dentist, where I found out he needs to replace two old fillings. That sucks, but other than that it went well.
She thanked me for brushing well and making her life easy.

Then I met my Daytonian friend and a girl we went to HS with for lunch. Two-and-a-half hours later, we decided we should go home... but it was nice to catch up. I think it's a girls trip in the spring. WOOHOO. Either that, or they are going to come visit me in Minneapolis in the summer. We'll see.

So I am in a much less "Debby Downer" mood to quote the good dentite... and I thought I would let everyone know, as not to depress the world two days before the year of Happy.


On that note, I stopped by Half Price Books and bought a "14,000 things to be happy about" page-a-day calendar. I'm sure it's going to be cheesy and ridiculous, but it will be a daily reminder to keep up on the Year of Happy promises to myself.


That is all for today.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Ughhh...

If you hold your left arm in the air, caulk your head 11.25 degrees to the left, and then spin 13 times to the right, stop suddenly and do a backbend, the Bengals will get into the playoffs.

I think that is about what it takes.


Or was it all the planets have to align in a perfect B shape?


Can't remember... but UGHH!
What a disappointment to watch them hand away their own playoff destiny!

Don't you practice those snaps?
Chad, did you eat so many greasy burgers that your hands are too slippery to hold on anymore?
Carson, who were you throwing to?
Housh, buddy, what was the uproar all about in the middle of the game....

Let's communicate a little this week, and hope the planets align.
:(

It's a sad day in WhoDey land.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Holiday Tradition...

Well, I guess a holiday season shouldn't go by without a little discussion about "Holiday Traditions."

When we were little it was to set out some milk and cookies, leave some oats for Rudolph, make sure our tacky lights were all out front a-glow, and get ready for mass. In our house (mostly because of running out of time for my parents), we didn't have a tree done when we went to bed on Christmas Eve. That was Santa's job. We'd do midnight mass, where traditionally I would fall asleep on whoever was next to me, family or not. Then home in bed it was.

Around 6 AM or something ridiculous, our eager selves would wake up and wait impatiently at the top of the stairs for Dad (who was always at the bottom) to say "Okay, you can come down now." Then the three of us would fight to the bottom of the steps to find a tree decorated, and lit, with three piles beneath it - some with "Santa" paper and some with "Mom and Dad" paper. The stockings stuffed so much they couldn't hang any more and were down on the floor. Mind you, we were not wealthy growing up. We had probably more than our fair share of struggles, but Mom and Dad always made Christmas "happen" for us somehow, and I guess we didn't have super-high i-pod, Xbox-esque expectations. We had atari, and were happy with frogger, but no Nintedo, etc.

I will have to say, it was pretty magical to have it all "appear" on Christmas Morning - tree and all.
I always wondered why mom and dad were so tired though!

There were a couple of things you knew before you started... a few family traditions.
  • There was one wrapped present on Christmas Eve that we got to open.
  • Santa always left the book of Life Savers in our stockings.
  • I ALWAYS got Dad "soap on a rope," and he was always surprised.
  • The one thing you wanted most was sure to be there - even if it was the popular toy that year and mom had to stand in line to get it.
  • My stack was always bigger than my brother and sister's, but we always had the same number of gifts - because we, of course, counted every year.
  • There were most likely Dr. Denton footed pajamas, until I was about 10. (Maybe that's why I can't wear socks in bed now.)
  • There was always socks, usually underwear, and the day after Thanksgiving Day LazzieBears from Lazarus (Macy's) made their appearance.
  • On occasion, my sister and I got the lovely 80s candy cane full of rainbow knee highs --- talk about SEXY!
  • There was ALWAYS clothes - like leggins, back when leggins were acceptable in the 80s. They may have even been stirrup pants. NIIIIICE.
  • And Mom's gift from dad always said "To PattyCakes" and she always got something even if dad said they shouldn't buy each other gifts.
Once we "stop believing," our family started opening gifts on Christmas Eve... making Christmas day the time for food and relatives. Then we all got to work together to put up the tree prior to Christmas Eve. Mom did the lights, Dad did the hooks, and we did the hanging and garland, of course. When we moved to our bigger house, we decided there was a need for two trees - one we cut ourselves with the colored lights and family traditional stuff, and a boxed tree with the fancy breakable stuff and white lights. Guess which one made it to the front window... cheers to tasteful decorations. Thanks M&D.

Here are some of the more recent traditions:
  • Tree: a day or three before Christmas, go to buy one that is already bundled but "looks good" through the mesh, because no matter how hard we look for the perfect tree SOMEONE is going to make fun of it. It used to be Dad - who had something bad to say about our choice every year, now a messed up tree is just a part of the tradition. (Note, the first year we did the no-look thing, it was the most perfect, prettiest tree we've ever had.)
  • PS Tree: both my mom and I are completely allergic to you, so please behave.
  • A tree? MAYBE, two? three? four? Those times are over. I don't think we need one in the Family room, living room, my room, and the basement - I mean really!
  • Outdoor lights: I forgot about those... maybe tonight. And only a few matching white ones, because I wouldn't want our house to look like some of the neighbors' houses.
  • Gifts: Pick them out and wrap your own and put them under the tree. Act surprised.
  • Santa: He comes to grandma's house too.
  • Christmas morning: It's for the kids, then mass, then brunch --- not a time to sleep in.
  • Sleep: Fall asleep after brunch on my sister's couch.
  • Dinner and Family at our house: this takes on all forms, from my sister, her hubby, and her kids, my aunt, mom and I to the additions of my sister's in-laws, and my uncle's entire family (3 kids and their husbands/wives and kids). This means interesting holiday conversations... This year, I think we have them all.
So, I guess we'll see what fun this year holds. It's the day before Christmas eve, and I have yet to see the tree that was picked up. It's lying on the floor of the garage... I guess a little water, some lights and a few ornaments would do it good. So that's part of today's chores... along with making sure everyone has a gift and cleaning... I guess that means I should stop blogging. Have a great holiday with your own traditions everyone!

Falalalala - luh lalala...

Oh yea, and kick some Bronco butt this weekend boys... WHODEY???

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Oh Santa...

How we love thee, let me count the ways...
  1. Free presents. You pretend you care if we're naughty or nice, but somehow all the meanest little kids in my class ended up with cool shit - even if they ate glue, put boogers on people, spit in little girls hair, or were bratty little tattle tales. (And I can remember being a little naughty recently, and I think I've gotten some good stuff because of it, let alone in spite of it! A-hem.)
  2. Fat and happy. In a world where anorexic is idealized, you provide an imaginary place where it's okay to smother your face in whole milk and cookies - at least one night a year.
  3. You embrace little people, both young and old. Kids get free stuff and support, while height-challenged folks in the North pole are able to support themselves through your Elf Employment Program (EEP, for short. Um, I mean...)
  4. Fear factor. No matter how many slimy kids like you, there's always a few who'd rather see the doctor for 42 shots then spend two seconds in your lap for a picture. Why? You're kinda creepy. Let's face it. It is for instilling this fear of strangers in a few un-knowing children that we again love you!
  5. Ho, Ho, Ho. Somehow you get away with calling all the shady ass moms out there derogatory names, and they just let their kids repeat you. It's a fantastic thing. I seriously thought hard the other day where this may have come from, and so Wikipedia it is...
While all of the above are so very true, there is nothing worse than a bad fake. Santa needs to work on getting better "helper" look-alikes for all his various mall visits and such - or at least get them better costumes. Who knew you could mess up by such a wide margin?


This morning, the local YMCA had a "Santa" that looked remarkably like the Santa shown above. I'd rather not put my 8-month old nephew on your lap, sorry! We'll go downtown, to see the good one, even if I have to pay for the picture! I know that not many people want a bunch of snotty little brats sitting in their laps, but maybe we should make sure they don't have a record and their fake beard covers their real mustache, so the kids don't start asking questions! We love you Santa, but send us a decent fake for the pictures please!

PS... All I want for Christmas is a Bengals Superbowl win, and a ticket to the game would be nice too! Oh yea, and a real good man, preferably who also is fond of #1 above!

*</;-)


HO, HO, HO... Merry Christmas everyone!


Tuesday, December 12, 2006

19 days left PEOPLE...

It's INSANE how happy I will be in 2007. You all think I am kidding, but nope I'm not! It's all about whatever makes YOURS TRULY happy... except for food. I started WW this week. Meetings and all. Tonight was my first weigh-in. I lost 6.8 lbs. WOOHOO!

See, you don't even know me, until you know what happy me is like. Just wait. JUST WAIT.

:)



Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Nobody likes...

... a Double Dipper!

That is what I told the little girl I was babysitting tonight, when she tried to re-dip her carrot in the dressing. As soon as I said it, I decided it sounded good and I decided that "what nobody likes" could make a good blog topic. SO here goes the list BY ME (feel free to make additions):

Nobody likes...
  • steelers (or pretty much anyone from Pittsburgh - and because I lived there, I can say that!)
  • egg nog (ewww)
  • bunions
  • pork rinds (or at least they shouldn't)
  • the buzz of the alarm clock
  • double dippers, of course
  • close talkers
  • fat free cream cheese
  • ugly shoes (unless you are a people watcher)
  • the stress of dating
  • blind dates
  • being set-up
  • creamed corn
  • molester vans
  • nose bleeds
  • poison ivy
  • keeping up with the Joneses
  • being yelled at for not blogging in a week or so
  • lulls
  • stinky feet
  • stinky other things
  • ear aches
  • self-absorbed, holier-than-thou snotfaces
  • snot
  • cold hands
  • wet public bathroom floors
  • empty toilet paper rolls
  • sore winners
  • sore losers
  • kittens and rainbow backgrounds on Myspace
  • long lines
  • dirty hand shakes
  • radishes
  • Pittsburgh
  • anyone who says, "sorry, but I got the last one."
  • irrational and unsubstantiated arguers aka debates with people who don't "get" the facts
  • finding stuff in your food
  • greasy cheese burritos (ha...)
  • spikes in weather - 70 degrees one day, 22 the next
  • paying a lot for a little
  • family-owned car company commercials
  • infomercials for makeup and face products
  • cold rain
  • warm spots in the pool

what else?